Those times when you catch yourself being crazy reflective. Being in your hometown, being with family and friends from a time when things seemed complicated, but in all truth, was just a bunch of teenage drama. Now moving forward to the future when it seems like all there is is jobs and bills and sticky financial situations, you really feel the moment and don't let it pass by in a haze of teenage vision. I really appreciate the time I have with everyone I miss, but don't realize how much I miss them. ::phew:: How overwhelming at times.
I came home Sunday, Dec. 24. After working over 55 hours in one week, (I'm rather spoiled on the work front. I've always had a nice cushy job. Now I don't.) I was an emotional wreck as well as a wreck physically. My gums were torn up from stress and my gnawing at them, my nerves were raw from assisting customer after customer while carrying on the costume of a fantastic employee that loves their job...I cried....twice, in the car when I heard Christmas music. The little drummer boy. Don't even ask me why.
I've settled down quite a bit since then tho. The gift giving was fantastic. I love that part. I received a stand mixer(!!!!) from The Boy, and cooking gadgets galore. I couldn't be more excited to get back in the Kitchen. (I still want a table though...)
I got to visit with one of my best friends, The Draper. I miss her and her crazy ways. She has so much going on and I really wish we were as close as we were in high school. I feel awful that we don't have the same support system that we had for each other in high school. I hope that I can be there for her like always. My other best friend, The Physics major, is back for a visit from the wild west. I miss her dearly as well, augh. Too much sometimes. The three of us were seriously inseparable. Anyway, Physics girlie is here as well as her cousin, The Actor from Chicago. (I don't really think that's what he does, but that's what he graduated from college for. So good enough.) We got some good old bubble tea then had a good old time changing a flat tire on my mothers vehicle on the side of a road that was covered in dog crap. All the while, never knowing that my mother has roadside assistance. Ah well, I needed the experience. Actor was all into it "I changed a tire while dressed as Donatella Versace in a blue ball gown with a waist length blond wig! Lets go!" Turned out okay. Thanks guy :o) Later on in the week the three of us went to the local gay bar. Danced, people watched, guessed which side they were on, and gave nicknames to "special" characters. After we had gotten home, we decided we needed to get back out and head to The Diner. All in all, a long, but fun nite.
I spent more time with my niece. Another thing I feel slightly guilty about. Not spending time with her I mean. I moved away, just as a new member of the family arrived. Another support system I am not underneath. I started to worry as I held her while I we were at a skating rink. Babies are more then just a new responsibility, they're a life changing catalyst. At least that's what I think. You have to sacrifice the life you had before in order to give the best to the child. And those who are young usually don't realize this. I hand it to my Brother and his girlfriend for the strength it took to have her, but they still don't seem like they have to sacrifice anything. I understand, I certainly was still all about myself when I was their age. I just worry for the baby. Anyway. I'm just being way overprotective. I tend to be about people I love. Overprotective and paranoid and jealous. Good traits, huh?
Anyway, with that worry out in the open...
New Years plans include being lazy (currently being carried out), cleaning out some of my stuff from my parents house, chilling with Physics girlie with her fam and mine, calling the boy frequently (or at least thinking about it. I miss him like crazy. I know I live with him and I'll see him soon, I'm just attached! :o/ ) and going back to my apartment tomorrow. ::sigh:: and back to the grindstone. Damn.....but I have my stand mixer!! Hooray baking!! Thank you my sweet sweet boyfriend! He's so awesome. Ya'll jealous ;o)
Resolutions:
Being more open to criticism.
Being more flexible.
Being less of an uptight jerk.
Finding a real job.
Friends? I really would like to find some more friends closer to me.
Be better with my money.
I wish the Best to Everyone in the New Year!
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