Ahh...Saturdays...

It's been chock-full of going ons!
Got up early to the sound of knocking on our door at 930. We had forgotten that we were getting a new furnace!
So apparently, my cat is utterly afraid of unfamiliar people now. Once the repair guy had started work I had to go rescue the cat from his hiding spot...in a little nook in the ceiling of the basement. How he gets up there, I'm sure I'll never know. He mainly stayed upstairs the whole time....things got a bit, uh, tense when it had been over 5 hours he hadn't been downstairs. Old man cat had to go. It wasn't pretty. He wouldn't go downstairs so we ended up picking up all the carpets and locking him in the bathroom. Poor guy.

But we have a new efficient furnace that doesn't belch carbon monoxide into our house! yay! Ha. Yeah, the exhaust pipe had disconnected and was quietly trying to kill us. Thank goodness code requires CO dectedors in apartments! It's all good now, just means we get to havelower heating bills now!

Went to JoAnn's for more fabric for the quilt I have started. I miscounted the number of pieces I needed to cut. I like that part, picking out and touching everything. Yes. I know it's just fabric, but I have a tactile sense of things. I touch everything. And have been known to smell cards and books. So, I hope you're not OCD about that sorta thing. Sorry.

(Photo from: http://freerangeliving.blogspot.com/)

I finally made the Moosewood Cookbook's Apple Cottage Cheese Pancakes. I had been eying that recipe for years. Then, like a fool, I started the recipe and attempted to "beat the egg whites 'til stiff" by hand. Fool. My wrists are killin me. The taste was...interesting. I may have needed more apple, less cheese. But it was AWESOME with the NYS maple syrup we just restocked on.

The Boy bought the street fighters game for xbox. And, I must say, I can hold my own against Mr. Video-Game-Guru. It's fun. :oD Plus he says things like "you're the best girlfriend ever" after I do a Super combination and laugh like villain.

Now, I'm considering more Chinese food and more violent video games..."TIGER KNEE!"

who's got some??

Well. I have been at work one hour and have glanced at a project folder.

Stupid internet.

1. I sewed three strips of my quilt last night!
2. Leftover bean dip for lunch.
3. More sewing tonight, three more rows perhaps?
4. New bath rugs....cause my ancient cat pooed on the others....
5. um...sewing.

I actually don't want to do anything other than make that quilt. It's my first one and I am sensing a dangerous spiral into a new hobby. A new, time consuming, expensive hobby.

Also....I sound like a cat lady, approximately 68.4 years old in this post. Sewing, quilts and cats.
Awesome.

Grace in Small Things

1. These heels don't make my feet hurt!
2. Getting a report off my desk.
3. A hummus, cucumber and cheese sandwich for lunch.
4. Taco night!
5. Snuggles with The Boy.

Sage advice from....

Work hard, play hard. - My dad on the college experience.



Even if you chose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Geddy Lee (Actually, this quote might have been in the same card from my dad when I went away to college. He's an awesome dad.)



Remember who you are and what you represent or written: RWYAAWYR. - My mother when I would leave the house...and to my friends. I think she realized it was good advice early on. I don't think anyone minded the reminder either.

Watch "The Secret of NIMH" next time you're home sick!

Cause it's a cute cartoon, fun to watch, a tiny bit of action, nothing too emotional though, and slightly thought provoking. What IF animals really do communicate?! I love it.

When I started using the Internet

The very FIRST memory I have of using the internet was when my dad showed us we could track santa's trip around the world.When I regularly started using it it was to talk to my friends through AIM. Screw the telephone, I was on the computer until 1130 or 12 when I was in 9th grade. Then in 11th grade, the internet became my main pathway of communication to my computer-savvy college boyfriend. He showed me how friggin limitless it was. He still does actually. Thanks internet!!! lol

Random

Feeling wired.
Although, only on one cup of coffee and about 24 oz. of water.
Trying to drink more water...my skin and lips were VRY dry...and I was feeling, in the words of a friend - "cellulite-y." She says she is drinking a GALLON a day. Do you know how much water that is??? SIXTEEN cups. If I push myself, I get about nine cups. I think my brain would drown.

A 14-year old is suspected of shooting a cop in the head here. That's younger than my youngest brother. WTF.
Everyone keeps saying how "psycotic" he must be because despite all the programs available to assist youth and keep them out of gangs and drugs in the area, he still "slipped thru the cracks."

My 17-year old cousin is in chemo. WTF. I think of her a lot.

Three weddings for my cousins within the next year. Whoa.

I'll sing these songs at a karaoke bar if..

you blindfold me, give me many many drinks and tell me I am sitting in my car.

Inside out by Eve 6

The embarrassing part of the song comes when I would try to sing two people's parts at the same time.

Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer

I'm slightly tone-deaf and this song is slightly tedious. Double whammy.

I love Rock and Roll by Joan Jett

I would need a lot of whiskey for this one because I really don't have a rock and roll voice.

If I were a superhero, I would certainly wear tights

The Optimator - bringing cheers and beers to the down around the world.

Blue

Man, I have got the winter blues bad.
All I keep thinking about it family and how much I just want to chill out and veg.

I started my "new years" cleaning yesterday. I haven't cleaned since my parents were here at the beginning of November. It's lookin pretty grody.

My friends mother will be up here for a training seminar in two weeks, so I figured I better start now. It's just so annoying cause in order to do one thing you have to do another that needs something else done first. augh. Like rearranging the living room. It's such an awkward rectangle and the incoming traffic flow goes right thru the middle. Not to mention the outlets in weird places.

SO: for my sanity (and because I love procrastinating)
1) Living Room
- pick up dishes, misc,
- find a way to store electronic stuff (metal rack from office?)
-vaccum
-hang pictures
2) Dining Room
- pick up stuff from table and buffet
- Hang curtains
- find table cloth?
3) Kitchen
- Find a kitchen cart to reorganize for more counter space
- clean pots and pans
- clean spice jars
4)Office
- find storage options
- bring stuff up to attic
- neaten desks
- space for crafts?
5)Spare Room
- wash floor
6) Bedroom
- wash sheets
- wash comforters (laundromat)
7) Basement
- clean cat doo and misc.

See? it's a little overwhelming.

Plus today is like -6354 degress (not really, it's 11) and everything in my body aches. Except maybe my belly.

::sigh:: one more day of work before the weekend...

Vacations

I think -- I work purely for vacations. I can't wait to plan them, to travel to them...yep.

I's like to plan out my FOUR weeks of awesome non-working time, however I do have to narrow my list down a tad:
- New Orleans to visit my cousin
- the beach
- camping (multiple times)
- Virginia (for a wedding)
- the Northwest (Seattle/Oregon and the like)
- Florida
- the mid-west? I'd like to see my best friend again.

Hm..plus I have to take time off for my mouth surgery. Boo.

Monday

I had a falling out of sorts with music since college.
I remember in high school, I would always say that I "couldn't live without it."
When I moved home halfway through college, I don't remember being that compelled to turn on music every time there was silence.
I still don't get that persistent itch to have music on all the time, but once in a while, I just wanna turn some up loud.

So now I am on a quest to find some awesome tunes to keep me occupied. It's tough, because it's going to have to be an honest-to-goodness search. I'm pretty tired of most of the music I have in my library. Mostly because it is pretty angsty.

I'm over angsty.

I'm also over slowly getting chubby. I'm going to dance class twice a week starting tomorrow. Yes, that includes the gym I already belong to. No, I'm not rich. I just realize I can't be lazy and sometimes have to "sacrifice." I say that in quotes because I don't really care about money (shh...don't tell the Boy). I miss being creative, so hopefully it will help me relax and enjoy the year. So now, I'm off to work on my lazy butt.

P.S. Smelly cat is on my lap. pe-yew.

Easy Sunday

Here I am, again.
On the computer with my little old man cat keeping each other warm.
We have to kinda cut back on our energy, we have been using a BIT too much.

I have to call my neighbor today to let him know that he needs to get in touch with his buddy at the auto repair place. I have to bring my car in and he has to pay cause his wife broke my car door. Oops. Anyway, I hope they can work it out. I don't want to get all nasty and mean to have it paid for.

Listening to the Robert Plant and Allison Krauss album. It's pretty awesome. Very nice.

::sigh:: I need to clean, but it's probably not going to happen. Bummer.

Some Pig!

Or in my case...some year! Actually I have no idea. I'm terrible at tracking time, and therefore terrible at giving a re-cap of stuff that happened this year. But I can tell you what I did yesterday (amazingly).

I cooked.

Minestrone soup, Chocolate Orange Cupcakes and Artichoke dip.

Here's my messy kitchen:

I actually was just finishing the soup and started the cupcakes.
Oranges are awesome, and don't you forget it.

Minestrone Soup:
Cupcakes:

Ohhh yeah. super tasty. Then I went over to my aunts for New Years. Nothin like costumes on New Years:
Have a fantastic year!!!

not fair!

--Inspired by:http://belgianwaffling.blogspot.com/2008/10/its-not-faaaaiiiiiiir.html--

When I was a kid I was not allowed:

-To watch over a PG rating
-To have toy guns
-watch Rosanne (dad let us tho)
-to skip doing the dishes (I STILL despise doing dishes)
-go to the mall with just friends until I was 13
-get multiple piercings (prolly would still not be allowed to if i asked..lol)
-no boy girl sleepovers (um. that was probably a good thing)

That's pretty much it. I don't really remember a curfew. I must have had one, but we never really hung out at my house, so it didn't matter. I could go to dances and have boyfriends. But it just bugged me when the littlest brother was allowed to stay up and had toy guns and watch whatever was on TV. *tsk*

Rules I definitely am imposing on my children:
-dishes (muahaha, can't wait for this)
-chores before they leave the house on Saturday.
(why I feel the need for my house to be clean? I dunno)
- no boy girl sleepovers
- no eating on the couch (we don't even do it ourselves!)
- no excessive body mutilations (your father didn't need tattoos to be bad-ass)
- not sure on the swearing....prolly no s or f words. if it is allowed, no swearing AT anyone (no damn you, etc).

otherwise, everything else seems fine.

Right now, it's not fair I have to leave the house when it's super chilly out. bummer.

Scrooge, but not by choice

Well. I just fell off the map, huh?

Meh. It was just the craziest month. I couldn't keep up with myself!

Right now I'm "sneak" posting. (at work, shh) It's crazy dead at work. There is NO ONE here from my division. I want to play hookey. I hear that my aunt (who is a teacher) has a snow day. I MISS SNOW DAYS. dang it.

Tonight me and my #1 are going to shop. Yaaay x-mas season. I have stuff set up for everyone else but him. He would be easy to buy for if he did not have such EXPENSIVE TASTE. Sheesh. Maybe he'll be really obvious tonite and point out stuff he wants.

Next week is kind of going to be hell on wheels. I have to leave the area THREE times next week and write THREE reports. Hopefully two reports if I can get my act together today (not likely). Plus, I haven't driven my car since Tuesday because I have ZERO money to get it fixed. The check engine light came on during a marathon site visit so I ignored it and continued to drive, oh, about 100 miles. If at the very worst case scenario (i.e., it's going to cost a billion dollars to fix) I'll have to rent a car to get where I'm goin for work. They will pay me back for it. Then if it's STILL not fixed by the time I have x-mas vacay, I'll have to take a bus back home. Oi. I hope it doesn't come to that. I'm just not ready to go thru all the jazz to get a new car. Thank goodness I'm getting a decent bonus this year. It's too bad I can't use it all up on x-mas gifts. I could easily spend 900 dollars on everyone. :oD

Happy December!

But I don't wanna get up.....

I am totally up at 8 to go to the gym.
I think I'm nuts. It's the perfect day for bed.

My alarm went off at 630 (normal time for workday) and I didn't see the boy. I panicked because I had no idea where he was..."is he in the bathroom? no, I would have heard him..sleeping downstairs? no he never does that...unless he's mad, is he mad at me?"
Seriously, all these things went thru my foggy head before I remember, "oh right, he's at his mothers."

Sometimes, mornings are not my thing.

SO off I go, froggy morning voice and all to "totally condition" my body.
Yeah, right. That will take some time.

But I did do some belly dancing last night.

In my life

Here I am.
Typing away.
I have cookies setting up in the fridge.
Two loads of laundry in the cellar.
Neil Young is playing on Pandora and making me feel relaxed, nostalgic, emotional. (Cortez the Killer)

They have been playing a lot of Native American documentaries on public television this week.
They keep making me weepy. Why do we suck? Sometimes I am not so happy I am American.
Most of the time I live in my happy little world, where I just float along, make money spend money, nothing is destroyed...When my naive vision clears, it's a shock every time.

And here I am.
Planning for the weekend.
And that's about it.

My Life seems silly at times.

FAIL

Dah. I'm so ticked-off at myself.

All I had to do was post a little blurb or two. But nooooo....
Obama had to go and make history and all, and then I had to stay up way past my bedtime.

And the second day? Well, I was just so depressed about the whole "I forgot to post" thing (you think I'm kidding...) that I just didn't even turn on my computer.

Tragedy.

Anyhow, I'm trying to move on here. I'm still feeling a little sluggish. Life sucks when your whole body hurts.

Looking forward to the weekend! The madness that will ensue with 8 ladies shopping for wedding dresses. I am only meeting them at the store, and they are having brunch pre-shopping excursion. I'm sure more then one of them will have had plenty of mimosa to make it pretty amusing. :oD And then I will follow them home and have my share of beverages. woo!

Energy!

Where did it go??

I guess a gin and tonic after work will do that to ya. The best kind is created with tonic containing quinine. What an interesting wikipedia article! Totally did not relate the pill you take for malaria with the drink you make for um, everything else! And? It's UV reactive. How interesting...

When I went to Costa Rica, they recommended a slew of immunizations and medications. I opted for just the tetanus and the hepatitis I believe. Some of my buddies also opted for the Quinine. My side effects? a sore arm (I swear it was for a month!) And them? Weird-ass dreams. They didn't seem like scary dreams, but it was more like they were so strange, they were spooked. Glad I didn't take it. hm..

I guess tonic with quinine doesn't give the same effects (unless you drink like...30 liters or something). Bummer, it says it helps with arthritis and nocturnal leg cramps. But it's not prescribed anymore for that purpose because the risks associated with the drug are more severe than would warrant the use of it. Psh. They never had my leg cramps.

P.S. Don't forget the lime.

Weekend Crash

Experiencing a tad bit of withdrawal from the visitor crazyness.

We made Pumpkin ice cream and enough vodka sauce to feed part of an army.
We ran a 5K and took a late fall hike.
We re-adopted a kitty and are attempting to train him with some manners.

Now, I'm bummed. (plus one of my favorite food blogs already posted a pumpkin ice cream recipe!) oh well. Here are some sweet photos.

Pop hiking ahead.

Lovely views

Destination: waterfall.

Hedgehog, sleeping in pants cuff!

My favorite tree: the tulip tree. I would recognize
this tree shape anywhere.

Well, here is to a better week. I believe it will be much easier to wake up with that handy time change today.

Good night!

Happy November!

Well, I did it, and it wasn't too horrible.
My dad and I ran about half the 5K, and ran the last .6 miles. Our time? 38:15
Meh, I know, but we were not last! I will definitely run another. Just maybe when it gets warmer out.

Right now we are just hanging out, waiting for the motherly unit to return with food to begin our feasting. I believe the menu tonight is Pasta a la vodka. or something. I know it has vodka in it. Also, my mom purchased an ice cream maker for pumpkin ice cream!! My dad, brother and I used to make it every year with the ice cream maker they had received as a wedding gift. We stopped once the machine died. So my youngest brother was too late to experience the awesomeness that I remember pumpkin ice cream to be. I will take photos and post a recipe.

I also had made a cranberry crumble that I took photos of. It turned out kinda, um, odd...but I'll post it anyway. Good practice.

So, my kitty is re-adjusting to the basement. I heard the trip up wasn't too awful for him. He only whined part of the 3 hour trip. My mom stopped at the vet to pick up some tranquilzers because I didn't want him to feel too awful coming up. But he hadn't been to the vet for 2 years or so, so they wouldn't give it to her. Augh. My dad attemped to give him some benadryl, I know they give it to dogs. Dad mixed it in some wet food, Leo took two bites, and started foaming at the mouth. That didn't work either. Oh well. He seems to be okay. I have a little set-up in the basement for him, a chair off the floor and some blankets that he's been snoozing in. He'll settle in soon enough.

Okay, time to get back to my guests. Hooray for food!!!

Happy Halloween, my fine, fabulous friends!

This will be quite the weekend!
Tonite, my family will be arriving for a full weekend. I believe that 5 people will be coming. I do not have enough bedrooms for all of them. In addition, I have a hedgehog that has quite a picky climate preference (a small space heater), and my cat will be joining me here in my new city. And um, he's older and was an outdoor cat. Yeah, he's not going to be allowed outside here. SO! It will be interesting.

Tomorrow, my father and I will be in a 5K run/walk. I added the "/walk" because I'm pretty sure we both will not be running much. Oh well. If anything, this attempt to train to run taught me I'm made to move on a dance floor, not concrete. Following this, a major Autumn feasting. Food all day, and many many people in our apartment. (mother, father, 2 brothers, my niece, my aunt, my uncle, in addition to me and my guy.)

I'm looking forward to all the excitement. Perhaps this is one reason this has been the. longest. week. ever. Seriously, didn't anyone else have a REALLY hard time getting out of bed this week? Man, it was brutal.

Therefore, I'm pretty stoked about the time change.


And, tomorrow begins my quest for daily posting for the month of November.
Be ye prepared. ( that bit is for me...)
Happy Fall everyone!

Just a nice pic and a list for myself this weekend....
- Pick up the house and finish putting clothes away
- make banana bread for Friday
- learn how to do spa facials
- send out cards
- get a new air mattress for guest bedroom?
- carve pumpkins and make pepitas
- make pumpkin puree
- find a temporary storage solution for the kitchen nook
- get Perrin food

Me? Overly ambitious?? Nah...

For Emma Faye in Autumn

Take my moment in this beautiful light
in this warm yellow sun.
Take my view of these reds, maroons, yellow greens and orange
of these swiftly fading trees.
My little one with few years, I fear you will never see this lovely land.
I capture this memory the only way I can
These acquired tastes for the passion of the movement of life
the changing of tides, the presence of one moment.
This is for you.

My curse

The Boy and I rented a few movies last night. It was about....oh, 11 pm. He got Alien because I have never seen it (I have also never seen Terminator, Gremlins, and a bunch of other "classic" 80's movies....and he thinks it's a travesty).

So, I grab Perrin the hedgehog, dodge his grumpy quills, and settle down on our nice reclining couch.

People, I didn't make it 15 minutes in. I was PASSED OUT. I know it wasn't the exciting part, but I'm not sure I wouldn't have slept thru all the other parts either.

It's a curse, this falling asleep thing. Anytime, anywhere. Dead to the world. I do it while talking too. That gets kinda awkward....

So, fell asleep early, now I'm up early. I'm off to attempt to continue training for this ambitious 5K run November 1st. hooboy.

NaBloPoMo

National Blog Posting Month. It's based on National Novel Writing Month where people try to write a whole novel in one month. Man, I am glad that I just joined up for blogging!

SO, I'm giving it a whirl this time around in November.
It's a good month, lots will be going on. A little shindig for my cousin/sista, Ms. M, my birthday, and who could POSSIBLY forget Thanksgiving. THE best holiday. That is where it might get a little tough to post, because I'm sure I will be partying hearty, and :ahem: playing "water" pong. I'll have to tell that story later on.
Overall, I'm looking forward to it. I have been meaning to get along with blogging, the Boy even set up a nice food site for me. (It does need quite a bit of tweaking tho...)

I think November will be lots of lovely fall pictures and notes, cooking posts, and general mayhem that comes along with knowing me, the little tree hugger!

Cheers!

Overwhelmed

I get so intimidated when I try and make a grocery list.
Because if I make a grocery list, then I need to have meals planned out.
To have meals, then I need to sit down and search through the PLETHORA of recipes in my personal cookbook collection and the internet.
Crap.
I'm sure I get a bit overly ambitious, because I have done it before.
I make a meal plan, but by the time I get home from work and do my gym thing, there is NO WAY I want to stand and cook and wait for a meal for over an hour.
My desire for instant satiation usually wins on weekdays.
SO. What to do. I guess just make meals 2 or 3 times a week.
But then I also have to plan for my lunches because I can't eat out everyday.
Oh yes, then breakfasts!
And Snacks!!!

Oi. I totally have not lived enough for this yet.

Tempis fugit!

Mamamia.....I had no idea I was so neglectful. I forget sometimes that I like to write.

So, the Boy and I moved. I'm trying to fall in love with a new schedule (drive to work, go to gym, dinners...) but it'll come. It's only the first month. But I like it so far. It's more like a house than an apartment. (attic and basement access!) Also, a dining room. It's very "posh". Sorta. We don't really have furniture. But he have new couches!! Fancy reclining couches. (He won't let me eat snacks on them yet...)

What else....oh yes. Vacations! Wyoming. Awesome. And I got to hang out with my favorite girls? oh yeah. What else could I ask for?? and Maine. OMG. House right on the cliffs. Beautiful. A coupla snaffoos, (plumbing, plumbers and excesses of airborne addictions) but I saw a few whales, seals and got to lay out on the rocks doing nothing at all.

I think I'm made to not work. I just would have so much time to do what I really love. (p.s. - I hate my job. If you need an environmentalist, I'm the girl for you!)

Also....possibly...perhaps changing websites. The Boy has one all made up for me to blog and I haven't had the time to play around with it. Don't look for it anytime soon. Hell, I still gotta unpack!

Back to my growing up home this weekend, it's both of my little brothers b-days. Happy 21 and happy 14!!! (holy crap!)

Happy International Day for Biodiversity !

Convention on Biological Diversity

Few things -

I just need to talk about them or else I won't get any work done.

*As of a week from Monday, I will be a certified asbestos project monitor. As such, I will be missing a week of work starting THIS Monday. I am already behind for THIS week. Weird.

*Mothers day is this weekend and the Boy and I are going to venture to our hometown. I will also (hopefully) be going to an Eve6 concert!! So, I will not be able to stay here to catch up on Friday.

*Physical therapy for my wrists after work (yesssss...heaaat) and then a meeting with a personal trainer to get my crap in shape. I have a 4.1 mile hike with camping equipment to do in August!

*El Boyfriend and I had a rather interesting lunch. We were having burritos (Taco John's on South Ave = Amazing), and he has a direct line of sight to the street. Well, it is apparently located right across from the "halfway house from hell." People wandering around tearing up sticks, talking to themselves, drug deals.... Yeah. I think of myself as pretty clueless, but it was so obvious, even I saw it. My favorite was "tearin' stuff up guy." Such a unique neurosis.

*Office politics. Seriously folks. Chill out.

I just cracked myself up by calling someone a "thuggish brute."

Man, sometimes even I question my sanity.

A place to pause

I blew it. Already.

I wonder why it is so hard to keep this going. I'm so easily distractable.

This weekend my cousin and her boyfriend came to visit. We did about a million things (about 4) and were worn out by 1030 pm. Amazing.

My aunt and uncle just moved into a new house. It's a little sad because the one they moved out of was my first home. I also lived there for a time during college, not to mention all of the other times I was there while my parents were away. All of the dinners that were in the kitchen and frisbee golf games, the "playhouse" and the soggy place at the bottom of their yard...the basement (which was perfect for the Halloween haunted houses they had), all the hot chocolate after the sledding trips, all the card games and family chats. Yeah, it was a cute little house on the hill.

However, I hear their new house is beautiful, large and very happy to have a family in it. I hear there is a large 4 season porch, a finished basement with a bar downstairs and 3 full bathrooms. I'm glad they are so happy about the house, they deserve a nice place.

I create attachments to places. My parents are also talking about moving. The house where they live now is TINY, needs a lot of work, and is on the edge of an iffy neighborhood. And yet, I will be sad when they leave that house. That was where I grew up! That was where I had my sleepovers with the seances and that was where my Boyfriend and I would stay up late and watch tv way past when he was supposed to go home.

In reality, houses are just a place, just a stop where life takes place, just like on any vacation or any short term stay. But when you put a personality to a location it's hard to just look away. It was good to hear that is why my aunt and uncle did on the last day before they left. Walked through the empty house, and said their goodbyes. This is my goodbye to the blue house on the hill.

Thanks house. :o)

Possible Reasons why I get Grumpy

1. I'm hungry.
2. I want to sleep.
3. The word that the hypnotist planted in my psyche was spoken. The word was probably "the."
4. That bug finally burrowed its way into my brain and pokes the amygdala for fun.


I'm trying for the NABLOMO the month of May. Posting everyday for one month (at least).
Happy May Day!

Alvin Ailey - Wade in the Water

Okay okay.....I know I just posted, but I have been on YouTube watching some classic modern performances and I just LOVE this one:



This is how I love to move.

Belhurst!

Here we go!! Pictures from the trip! ....two weeks ago! :oD



Belhurst is the name of the castle, but they also run this building; the White Springs Manor.







And the room....and the fireplace.....and...the picture. Here, lemme give you a close up:


















Yowza.


Moving on to: the spiral staircase to downstairs.

Pretty sweet, huh? It was kinda awesome to walk down this to go to the bathroom. They had the fancy bathrobes too, but we didn't touch them cause I was afraid we would get charged for it or something. Everything in there had a price attached to it. Except for the fireplace. So we fired that baby up! then we ate Ben and Jerry's and watched cartoons. The dinner was el sucko (we went to a different restaurant, not the one here) so we went to wegmans, and then we realized they have cable! and we do not! so we caught up on our cartoons. So fun.
I have more, but I am really not a fan of how blogger lets me post pictures...so here is one last good one of the last light of the sunset. It was a great weekend.

She's a maniac...maaaaniac thats for sure...

Okay, so no pictures yet. I'm sorry.

But not that sorry because it's been a gloriously slow week. My moods are wreaking havoc again, so it's good not to feel pressure to do anything (although I do - house is a mess, need to work out, need to write..).

Anyway, I tried out a dance company class yesterday. I'm a little discouraged because it didn't seem like I would be able to get into the actual company to perform anytime soon. But a woman who teaches there was really nice to me and was telling me about all these trips she takes to Toronto to dance and watch shows up there. Sounds awesome, but I kinda want to get back into the swing of things before I take a master class. But it would be good to get out and see a little culture.

It's been a long time since I've done modern dance, but surprisingly, stuff came back to me quickly. Some of the combinations are a little tough because they require so much trust in your muscles, and quite honestly; I'm not sure they are ready yet. I think I'm going to take more aerobic classes at the gym to get my stamina and core prepared before I cancel it or whatever. But I am really excited!

Things...26-50

26. Fly a plane
27. Invent something
28. Go on a vacation with The Boy
29. Volunteer frequently
30. Teach children about the environment
31. Have high tea in England
32. Go to a French bakery
33. Karaoke in Japan
34. Beat The Boy in a video game
35. Build a Green House
36. Camp out in a tree
37. Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro


Ya know what? I do not think I have lived enough life yet to know what I am missing. So that's my list. (It's been sitting in my edit folder for about 2 weeks now and I haven't thought of anything new.) I say...not too shabby a list.

OK! Today is finally Saturday, so The Boy and I are going to our mini-vaca! hoorah! I will bring my new camera and hopefully get some sweet shots to showoff what it looks like. In the meantime, Happy weekend everyone!

You can't eat your pudding if you don't have any meat!!!

Last night, there was a death. Well, near death.
Of a smoke alarm battery.
For safety reasons (of course) there is a feature that warns the occupants that the battery is loosing it's juice. What time of day that feature goes off (ahem, night) is not important.
Most alarms I have heard have a soft beep every minute or so. Not the one upstairs.
A triple beep every 30 seconds. From 330am onward.
In all seriousness, I wanted to stab my temple. I love my sleep, and I actually would wake up about every half hour, and considered getting up at 5, just so I could leave and not hear it anymore. I went up the back stairs hoping that it was in the hallway and I could tear it off the wall (or, ya know, take the battery), no such luck. It was in an apartment. ::siiiiigh::

In other news, nothin' wrong with me. Full panel of blood work and everything is relatively normal. Although, my "albumin levels" were a little low. Heh, the doctor recommended I eat more red meat....nearly raw. Yeah...right doc.
I think I'm going to go to the Park Avenue Dance Company to try it out...I miss dancing. Although this is contemporary dance. It's been awhile since I've done that. I'm picking this company because I know they put on shows. Ideally, I would hope that I could get into this show, but, Em! Take a class first!

It's about time for me to get out of work. (And no, I am not doing this on company time.) Everyone is havin beers and playin mini-golf (a sort of reward party for the company) but I just want to go home. We'll see.

Ta!

Spring?

I love that part of the early morning in spring, just as you notice it is actually light out when you wake up. When the sun seems to shine brighter, has a warmer tone, and you just feel like you have caught something beautiful at the peak of its radiance.

I just wish it would get over 25 degrees in the morning.

Things on my desk:

~an old tea bag
~a paper penguin from Bri
~NYSDEC Spill reports
~ a receipt for a paid student loan (by another loan company)
~invitation for a baby shower on Feb 2.

I think I need to clean.
However, I think the need for cookies is um...needier.

Eight

There's just something about this crazy, mixed up, inside out love.
It makes me smile,
makes me angry,
makes me loony,
makes me strong,
makes me think,
makes me feel completely warm all over.

Who knew this silly teenage match would end up as a "breakfast in a diner on sundays" kind-of couple?

I like this ride, lets keep going.
<3

100 Things to Do Before I Go

This is inspired by MightyGirl Blog. This is one of those blogs I read everyday. It's just a personal blog, but everything she does seems so professional. She's got killer style and she seems like a fun person to be around. Anyway, she decided to invite her readers (that's me! but I lurk... I rarely leave comments) to complete a list of things to do before you croak. However, she put it in a more tactful way. (Ah, that style, I love it!) So: I begin.

1. Visit Japan
2. Write a book
3. Return to Costa Rica
4. Have babies
5. Build an environmentally friendly house
6. Learn how to work an espresso machine
7. Learn Spanish, French, Arabic and conversational Japanese
8. Become a trail guide
9. Go backwoods hiking
10. Plant and maintain a successful garden
11. Own a dog
12. Run a marathon
11. Visit Alaska to see the northern lights
12. Help put my niece thru college (if she wants to go)
13. Live in Washington or Oregon
14. Have family dinners at least 3 times a week
15. Take my parents on a vacation
16. Take Mrs. Z to Ireland
17. Donate a lot of money to my Environmental Studies department
18. Help create a nature preserve
19. Delineate wetlands
20. Learn to do woodworking
21. Drive across country
22. Get myself into a few theater performances
23. Learn to play the piano
24. Carve pumpkins, make snowmen and bake cookies with my kids
25. Keep a goldfish for longer than a month

Breakfast.

It's really hard to eat a good breakfast when all your oatmeal is gone, and you made a big batch of grits for breakfast with honey and cream.

Sound good? It aint.

Manic

I feel like time is always trying to get away from me.
Like time is trying so very hard not to get cooties from me.
I just want to be able to get everything done. However, I am Ms. Anti-Task apparently.


Work words I now use everyday:
-However
-As such
-Apparently
-Observed
-Visible
-Previous

I tend to get a bit carried away when I go to take a "break" at work. On the internet.
I KNOW!
Such a stupid way to take a break.

Ways to take a 10 minute break at work:
-Take the long way to the water fountain
-Read the editorials in the newspaper
-Take the stairs to the top floor and back down
-Walk to the coffee shop

I get frustrated when work piles up unexpextedly. Liiiike...when I have a due date for a report that afternoon, and I'm really starting to get rolling and someone knocks on the wall of my cube and says: hey, are ya busy?
No, dork. I'm just sitting at work getting some knitting done.

Ways to manage time:
-Make lists
-Buy a calender
-Write in said calender
- .......
(as you can see....not so good at this part.)

::sigh:: I need help.

I have been doing my current job since....the end of October. That means that I have been doing multiple projects at any one time for 4 months now. How come I have not YET gotten the hang of it? That is a long friggin time. (As compared to "Okay, here is this dance sequence. Lets do it 5 times. Okay, now show it to me.) It's very frustrating to me that I am not good at it right away.

Things I want to do tonite that will probably not get done:
- Go running (probably will do this)
- Set out clothes for tomorrow
- clean the bathroom
- make a lunch and snacks for tomorrow
- make apple and cottage cheese pancakes
- finish a report

Things I think about doing all the time and never get to:
- Make jewelry
- Clean
- Write
- Read and have coffee at a cafe
- Time management
- Get my medical responsibilities in order
- Cook and write in the blog
- Backrubs
- Hiking
- Exercising
- Planning trips
- Cleaning out my clothes

I think I expect a lot out of myself.

Foodie

Few things:
I have started the food blog. Not officially, because I want to get a few things tweaked and get a few more posts up before I really start letting people in on it. Unfortunately, I'm having a hard time getting work done this week (hm...I wonder why....[note the time this was published]), so I don't have much drive to work on it nights.

New Camera! Yes, I have a new camera so I can't wait to really break it in!

Upcoming topics: St. Paddy's Day meal, and some mean chocolate -chip cookies. like, mean as in so good, you will eat them til your face falls off.

'til then...

Very Very Cruel.

Monday Morning

Its a bit hazy
the ways I get out of bed.
The fears I induce
when waking from death.
The corpse that is me
for about 6 hours
struggles to remember
a reason not to cower
at the thought of a day
when in so many ways
everything goes wrong.
----
these days are good
i tell myself.
these days treat you well
with a home, career, health.
yet this nagging annoyance
that persists and endures
every freakin monday....

....alright. i was trying to be serious, but monday morning poems tend to be a bit one sided.

Contrary Mary

That's what my mother always called me.
I apologize. It's pretty true.
I'm also "Debbie Downer."
Again...I'm sorry! I'm blaming it on the lack of sunlight and lack of gym availability.
But lo! There is hope, fellow miserables! I have returned to the gym and the work load is getting better! I am also stocking up on recipes and pictures so I can start my food project.
.
.
.
Just a few more weeks.....

Sunday Night, Again.

How crappy.

Another anxiety filled Sunday evening before the work week begins again. I shake my head trying to deduce how I got to dislike my job so much. I'm hoping it's just for the moment. My boss keeps telling me how these are just the busiest months, don't worry. Somehow, I am not convinced.

The tv is broken. This stupid apartment had a electricity surge that foiled the expensive surge protector purchased for the expensive tv. Because the outlets are not grounded.
.....augh.
So my Boy is miserable, no daily Family Guy, no daily video games, and damn it, no nice tv that he really worked hard to get.

And now, the upstairs neighbors are partying like it's flippin new years.
"Its SUNDAY people!! be miserable like the rest of us!!!!"

The nerve.

Man, it will be great when we have our own house.
Until then...we suffer.
Ciao, my fellow miserables!

New Year!

New year! New post!
(I am letting you know ahead of time that this started off as a personal post, but hey, might as well jump into what I've been thinking about doing for a while. Good luck to ya, reader!)

I actually feel slightly depressed today. (Of course that might be the work load I have awaiting me in a certain building downtown that I spend more than the customary 8 hours a day in.)
I'm bummed that I'm feeling like I hate this job. Because it's environmental, it's a salary, and it's benefits. What else could I possibly ask for??
I know what I really want:
No deadlines.
Man, I freaking HATE deadlines. Nothing makes me want to sit down and do nothing more that deadlines. What's that I hear? You want this by the end of the week? Why, no better time then for me to go looking on the internet and planning out my dinners for the rest of the month. No better time then, for me to catch up with friends on gmail chat!
OI. I tell ya. It even drives ME nuts.

Bitching aside--
My favorite Boy suggested that I start an on-line journal about my cooking "experiments."
Me: "Um, like a Food Blog?"
Boy: "Yeah, where you take pictures of what you are making and say how it comes out and give the recipe."
Me: "Oh man, do you know how many FANTASTIC food blogs are out there? And how professional they look?? Like this one, or this one? Oh geez, and I LOVE this one."

My little obsession with food blogs has not gone unnoticed by him. In fact, I spend so much time oogling over them, they are now referred to as "Food Porn." And all of my favorite ones reside in a bookmark folder of the same name. Sad really.

Finally getting to the point, the Boy has started things off with a Coffee Cake which my guy decided to make while I was away on my vacation.



And...here's the ingredients.
You can see the flour, sugar, brown sugar, butter, generic vanilla (it's still vanilla!) and what appears to be baking powder and soda in shot glasses. Hm.







And the machine that makes it all possible. The Mixer. I love this Mixer. It loves me. We want to have awesome bakery babies together.

Anyway, as you can see: butter and...um...eggs? It looks like the butter was a bit cold still, and that box should probably be moved out of the kitchen if we are going to be doing this more often. I'm not exactly sure what is in there at that point...this was the Boy's project.


Assembly.
Man. I have no clue what that stuff is. Brown sugar? with something? I'm really going to have to be present when we do this again.



And a side view of the nearly finished product.
This is a busy picture. soda in the back ground, with some random spices and the ugly wood wall and the dreaded stove.
The actual act of applying heat to what I've combined really ruins everything for me. Literally. Burning, and overdoing, and underdoing happens a lot more than it probably should.
I blame the stove.




Which brings me to the next point: no pictures of the final product. It was a little bit of a disaster probably based on a two things:
1. No sour cream. The recipe called for sour cream, but there was none in the house and Boy wanted his coffee cake right then. "Hey, I'll just leave it out!" he says. Why not?
2. No bundt pan. He said he didn't know what one was, but that's ok, we don't own one anyway. (FYI - It's the pan that has a hole in the middle and looks like a mold so the finished cake has a shape.) Because of the lack of a hole, it didn't cook evenly. Stupid stove. (See? blame the stove. It's better.)
3. The camera quality is a little shady. The one I have is a little old and doesn't really have a stability thing, so many pictures are pretty bad. The ones here are the best of the bunch. Pretty good considering what he had to work with!
Sure enough, when I got home, there was the remnants of the cake, bubbled over the edge and crusty. Not pretty.
It's a learning experience.

Just like this post. Just trying things out, testing the photos and the posting procedures, blah blah blah.
We'll see how things go.

Waiting for dinner to finish...

-I dislike chopping fresh herbs.
-If you ask what I want from the store, and the house has no food, expect a long answer.
-I need bigger index cards for a craft.
-I'm pretty sure I need to make a collage now.
-I want to bake a cake.
-I am much to tired to think straight.
-I need to make a shopping list.

This weekend we went to Toronto for a bachelor/ette party.
Walked WAY too far in pumps.
Bitched a bit.
Yet got into a club for free, sat in the VIP section, and enjoyed a bottle of Hennesy that the Boy decided to splurge on in celebration.
And get this....there was a bouncer making sure people didn't sit with us.

I think that's the most spoiled I've felt in a while.

Next day we woke up a tad to early.
Visited the Toronto Zoo...felt crappy.
And then it rained and rained....and the day was much better.
We decided to try and run to the next animal house..and then it downpoured.
It was awesome.

All's well that ends.

What. A. Day.

St. Patrick's Day is a time for great revelry and boozing in my family. After all, the Irish blood still runs pretty strongly through my family's veins. Some more than others. For instance, my cousin. Because I grew up with her always around, she is more like my sister. While she is fantastically beautiful, terribly funny, and quite outgoing, she can drink you to the floor. With style. And I, can handle maybe 2 or 3 beers an hour without blacking out. Not much for the Irish side of me. My almost-sister was coming up for a visit!

With that being said, Her car was towed from our apartment's lot late in the evening. Given what a good sport she is about everything and her ability to take in stride just about anything, it might have been okay. But take into account that she was in a place where she hasn't been before, meeting a potential boyfriend, booze and one certain Sister-In-Law of hers, the situation=drama. And I knew it as I was sitting on the toilet, peeking out the blinds discovering that my cousin and her SIL's cars were being pulled out by a large truck. And the Boyfriend laughs when he finds the blinds stuck because I was peeking out of them. I don't even want to know how much more complicated it would have been if we discovered the tow many hours later.

I got up the courage and walked over to the pub where they were comfortably reveling in the evening. And my cousin says, as she always does "Are you kidding me?"
SIL hears this and gets the female pissed look. I know, because I have done it more than once. She takes the news bad, which I expect...and my cousin...starts to cry. Which I have seen maybe 3 or 4 times my whole life. SIL calls the tow number, and after about 1/2 hour of furious waiting, tears, and reassurances, the tow company calls, and says: "$200 to get your car back."

*&$^@ &^%#

SIL is so angry she will not look at me, and I lose it. These awesome people will never come visit me again because they parked in the lot and paid a ridiculously exorbitant fee for having a good time. Fantastic. I pissed off SIL, I made my cousin cry. Needless to say, my cousin didn't stay the night.
I'm still trying to figure out what the heck we're going to do. BF wants to call and yell at our landlords. For what? I don't know. Maybe hiring a tow company that charges fees that people in NYC don't even pay. They did tell us that people do get towed from the lot, but we have seen parties and their friends cars are parked there. And we never saw a single tow truck. This compounded with the fact that our kitchen ceiling looks like shit because the roof was leaking. We have let them know THREE times we want it taken care of over a 2-3 month period, and NO reply. Oh, maybe that our bathroom faucet STILL leaks, they said they repaired it, but it was untouched. How do I know? It still has the same problem as before. And the repair guy didn't believe me that there was a leak. You see, it only does it when you turn the hot to the cold. Not when you simply turn it on.

Augh. I'm tired of writing about this already.

I had a great day up until that whole shitty end.
Got up, made some awesome Irish soda bread, watched a parade while scarfing down Bailey's and coffee. Had a great corned beef, cabbage and potato dinner, And hung out at a pub across the street, all while not worrying about driving or anyone else driving.

I'm just pissed at myself because we told them that it would probably be okay if they parked there. And pissed that, in reality, there's really nothing we can do. The tow company didn't break any laws, and there are signs all over the lot. Pissed that Bf and I can't have visitors unless they move their car every 12 hours, or pay to park in a parking garage for a weekend. Pissed that this state is so people unfriendly. We knew that we never wanted to stay in this state.

Maybe we really have to get out of here. Sooner than we thought.

Currently

1. I am reading blogs. It may be a sad attempt to escape my brain and jump into others without actual human interaction. Maybe.

2. Human interaction is dangerous this time of the month. Like seriously. I totally flipped a shit on the BF today cause he said I had too many clothes.

3. PMS (as said by BF: pumms), I have a crazy urge to just buy a crapload of junk. I say junk because I know it will be. And food. I want food.

4. Tired as hell. Up at 610. Which is another thing.

5. New job. Part time, which sucks. But I get paid well. Just got hired for another Part time somewhere else. Doesn't pay as well, but whatever. As you might tell, I'm not TERRIBLY thrilled about them. Don't get me wrong, they're exciting enough, but not what I WANT to do. I know, I'm such an unappreciative asshole. Computer work just doesn't get me the way other jobs would. Plus my wrist pain suddenly made a reappearance. greaaaaat.
p.s. Part time=no benefits.

5. Hoping that I won't be anal retentive this weekend. I might be. But I will try not to be.

A weird morning is when:

You are first woken up by someone asking if you would like to come in and interview with their agricultural consulting firm, (which is really something that looked interesting to you, and would love the challenge of working with farmers, but are mostly involved with another job that you really don't want because it's working with computers, but they might be giving you benefits....) and you say...

"um...maybe, can I call you back?"

And then while you are trying to recover and are chastising yourself for being such an idiot for f-ing up your chances for a really neat job, your boyfriend asks...
"Did we make-out last nite?" And you say...

"Yeah....you thought it was a dream too?"

And you realize after discussing how you kept falling asleep and how he was too warm in bed to get up to get the necessary items for such a deed that we both had just passed out.


Just....wow.
I love my adventures.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Winter is here:

This was a few or so ago, but as you can see, It's been pretty fricken cold.

I love snow, but can't stand the cold. As a matter of fact, right now, my hands are freezing and my hips are aching. what's that you say? Why no! I am only 22 years old and already addled by the annoyance of "cold weather aches."
*grumbles like a crazy old woman*

I would go take a hot shower, but I need to do laundry at my aunts house. But she smokes. So then I have to take a shower when I come back....so I'll wait. The things you do when you're broke.

Oh! My mom came and visited the apartment!! I got to show it off to her and her friends. They were just here for the night, observing a school district for something. They were very impressed. Then we went to the British pub across the street. Very cozy, and welcoming. It was a perfect nite for a chat at the pub.

Last nite, the Boyfriend took me to a movie and out to the clubs. Yes, I said clubs. His buddies were out, and we usually go and meet them. The fiancee of one of his friends, was in a little little top...and it was pretty....but...she has pneumonia....and it's snowing and below freezing. *blink blink* Yeah....I don't know either. He says she thinks she's a celebrity. I will just take my friends stance and say "Whatever. It's all good. Whatever you want for you." (That friend is moving. To Detroit. Damn. I only met her a month ago at work, but...she's so FUN! ::sigh:: It's all good.)

And the movie? So sad, but really good. Pan's Labyrinth. It's sweet in a sad way. But the best part of last nite? It was all within walking distance. Even though it was freezing out, it wasn't a far walk. (As you can see, I'm still astounded by how close entertaining things are.)


Alright, I'm going to prepare myself for a sojourn to the Aunt's house for laundry and a visit. I hope she is feeling better.

A tale of ridiculous emotions.

Goodness grief, I forgot how much I like the title of this blog.

Today, I am writing just to blow off a little creative steam. Yesterday was terrible. It was good that I went shopping and cleaned nearly the entire apartment, but bad otherwise. I was so cranky and annoying....to myself (!) that I had to go to bed at 8 pm. And I had gotten up at 11 am.
It was that bad.
I couldn't even be awake for 12 hours...it was...*counts* 9 hours. That's it.
Now I'm all ready to hear complaints of "Oh you're so lucky to get that much sleep..." But me? I'm all like, You're so lucky you can be a decent human being for span of a normal day. Poor C. gave me a call like a normal and decent boyfriend, and I practically stomped on his feelings with the sole of my worn out and dirty sneakers. I was actually at the supermarket trying not to get run over (a weekend, and an impending ice storm=crazy shoppers), and should have told him that I would call him back when I was at out of a public area.
Sometimes, I am not so smart.

Hopefully that's over with.

So, my mother is coming to visit our apartment. Now I'm doubly excited that I was productive on the domestic front this weekend. I have been wanting to show it off for sometime, but it's totally not ready for entertaining. No kitchen table, I mean, come on now. But! That's okay.
I have the feeling she will be impressed. Maybe I'm just hoping she'll give me the impression she's impressed.....yeah. That would be good. (In order to please me, just pretend. It's that easy folks.)

So plans for later include:
a little more laundry
Fajitas for dinner!!!
maybe cleaning the office
perhaps putting up artwork in the hallway/gallery

Woohoo. Time to get to work. *groan*
I wish you the best day free of the cranky (as for myself)
Ta!

Those last times of the year

Those times when you catch yourself being crazy reflective. Being in your hometown, being with family and friends from a time when things seemed complicated, but in all truth, was just a bunch of teenage drama. Now moving forward to the future when it seems like all there is is jobs and bills and sticky financial situations, you really feel the moment and don't let it pass by in a haze of teenage vision. I really appreciate the time I have with everyone I miss, but don't realize how much I miss them. ::phew:: How overwhelming at times.

I came home Sunday, Dec. 24. After working over 55 hours in one week, (I'm rather spoiled on the work front. I've always had a nice cushy job. Now I don't.) I was an emotional wreck as well as a wreck physically. My gums were torn up from stress and my gnawing at them, my nerves were raw from assisting customer after customer while carrying on the costume of a fantastic employee that loves their job...I cried....twice, in the car when I heard Christmas music. The little drummer boy. Don't even ask me why.
I've settled down quite a bit since then tho. The gift giving was fantastic. I love that part. I received a stand mixer(!!!!) from The Boy, and cooking gadgets galore. I couldn't be more excited to get back in the Kitchen. (I still want a table though...)
I got to visit with one of my best friends, The Draper. I miss her and her crazy ways. She has so much going on and I really wish we were as close as we were in high school. I feel awful that we don't have the same support system that we had for each other in high school. I hope that I can be there for her like always. My other best friend, The Physics major, is back for a visit from the wild west. I miss her dearly as well, augh. Too much sometimes. The three of us were seriously inseparable. Anyway, Physics girlie is here as well as her cousin, The Actor from Chicago. (I don't really think that's what he does, but that's what he graduated from college for. So good enough.) We got some good old bubble tea then had a good old time changing a flat tire on my mothers vehicle on the side of a road that was covered in dog crap. All the while, never knowing that my mother has roadside assistance. Ah well, I needed the experience. Actor was all into it "I changed a tire while dressed as Donatella Versace in a blue ball gown with a waist length blond wig! Lets go!" Turned out okay. Thanks guy :o) Later on in the week the three of us went to the local gay bar. Danced, people watched, guessed which side they were on, and gave nicknames to "special" characters. After we had gotten home, we decided we needed to get back out and head to The Diner. All in all, a long, but fun nite.

I spent more time with my niece. Another thing I feel slightly guilty about. Not spending time with her I mean. I moved away, just as a new member of the family arrived. Another support system I am not underneath. I started to worry as I held her while I we were at a skating rink. Babies are more then just a new responsibility, they're a life changing catalyst. At least that's what I think. You have to sacrifice the life you had before in order to give the best to the child. And those who are young usually don't realize this. I hand it to my Brother and his girlfriend for the strength it took to have her, but they still don't seem like they have to sacrifice anything. I understand, I certainly was still all about myself when I was their age. I just worry for the baby. Anyway. I'm just being way overprotective. I tend to be about people I love. Overprotective and paranoid and jealous. Good traits, huh?

Anyway, with that worry out in the open...

New Years plans include being lazy (currently being carried out), cleaning out some of my stuff from my parents house, chilling with Physics girlie with her fam and mine, calling the boy frequently (or at least thinking about it. I miss him like crazy. I know I live with him and I'll see him soon, I'm just attached! :o/ ) and going back to my apartment tomorrow. ::sigh:: and back to the grindstone. Damn.....but I have my stand mixer!! Hooray baking!! Thank you my sweet sweet boyfriend! He's so awesome. Ya'll jealous ;o)

Resolutions:
Being more open to criticism.
Being more flexible.
Being less of an uptight jerk.
Finding a real job.
Friends? I really would like to find some more friends closer to me.
Be better with my money.

I wish the Best to Everyone in the New Year!

Amazing

How a bit of rain can ruin a whole day.

Don't get me wrong, I love rain.
I just never realized how depressed everything gets. I mean like....moving slowly.
I got out of bed after laying there for an hour, just listening to the rain on the roof.
By the time I got my shower and got dressed, it was nearly 1130
I wanted to take this job application in person, but I didn't fill it out yet. By the time I was finished hemming and hawing about what to write, it was suddenly 2.
Now I am still not finished because I don't know of any job-related skills that would help me get a job there!!!

I'm pathetic.

The Big 2-2

Ya, I know. I'm a fricken spring chicken.
And I LOVE it! :oD
Don't you worry, I certainly am not taking my youth for granted.

For example:
I still continue ballet lessons (even tho, I really can't afford it)
I still eat whatever I want (even though I can tell I should stop that soon)
I love (for the most part) what my body looks like
and I try to never forget to appreciate moments of beauty, excitement, and wonder.
So don't try to tell me I am wasting my young life. Thank you.

That said, I had a pretty nice weekend. Started off with a delivery of flowers from the 'rents. It is quite the interesting bouquet...I get to use the dish it came in for baking! woowoo! Hehe!
Boyfriend took me out to a fancy scmancy restaurant. Wine, salmon, chocolate and sherry. So tasty. I think Saturday was pretty uneventful, but Sunday I went with my aunt to the Carhart store in the boonies, and to an antique store. I found a really pretty china set with a silver and light green design on it, only $80! (No, I didn't buy it.....but I was considering it.) And I also found a shadow box. I really want one of those too. You keep little trinkets and doo-dads in the little compartments. I remember looking at my mom's shadow box all the time and marveling at how tiny everything was.

Anyway. We also found where my interview is tomorrow. Easy to get to. I wasn't nervous about it until my mother called and told me to bring my summer project to talk about. I'm like....crap. Eh. I'm just trying to remember to relax. It'll go well.

And now I'm off to check the mail for birthday card stragglers! yay!)

*yawn*

Good freakin morning!
Gosh, it's early for me.
I just want to be able to speak when asked questions at the interview later on. Morning voice ain't pretty.
It's still too early for breakfast too.
*stomach grumbles*
Well, maybe not.

You know who is cool?
My boyfriend.
He tortures me with tickling, teases me relentlessly....
yet when I'm trying to fall asleep but feel kinda like crap, he plays with my hair and asks if I'm okay.
Awww.....what a guy!
I'll think I'll toast him a bagel. :oD

Ticked....

Ya know. I really hate inconsiderate people.
Like the people who own this apartment.
They're nice enough, I guess, but they are either way lazy, or way too into themselves to give a crap about this place that makes them money.

Number one: When boyfriend moved in here, there were a number of issues. Namely the bath tub. It exists solely as a shower, even though it has a bath tub. The thingie (technical term) that you pull to stop the water from the faucet to the shower head is permanently fused in the shower position. Also (this drives me CRAZY every day) that there is no knob in which to adjust the water temperature. Just a little metal stick. Like a joystick. That is stuck. And then you want it just a tad warmer, but because it sticks it FLIES to the left side and it burns your skin. And you try to adjust it back and it FLIES back to the right turning you into a popsicle. *grumble*

Number two: The kitchen sink was broken. The water went from the faucet, into the drain, thru the giant hole in the cabinet and onto the floor in the cellar. It took them 2 WEEKS to get someone here to replace it. I would understand a week, but we couldn't do dishes for that amount of time! I would have done dishes in the bathtub, but remember? It only works as a shower! *twitch*

Number three: What sparked this whole rant, they leave their clothes in the washer and dryer ALL WEEKEND. Not only is that going to make their clothes reek terribly, but it it SUPER inconsiderate. Seeing as the only thing now that is really making this place messy is boyfriend's clothes that are everywhere. (Yes, I don't know how he has that many clothes either.) And seeing as they are showing the apt to someone this afternoon, as a deal, he would clean the coffee table (dinner table/desk/footrest) and do the dishes while I did the laundry. Good deal.
But no. Can't do laundry. Come on now landlords, I know you own the place, but there are other people who live here!


Man...does this mean I'm getting old when I get pissed about not being able to do laundry??

Jobs!

Well, just one job.
In retail.
It's one of my favorite stores, but still. It's in retail.

I'm bring positive about the whole thing because I don't want to be negative and ruin how much fun I could have there. Still greeting complete strangers really isn't my bag, baby. I did do stuff I can get into though....restocking. so delightfully repetitive. Also register. I hope I get snukkered into working register so I can get really good at it. And get good talking with people.
Also, I have an interview for another part time (office) job. To be honest, I know I hate these kinda of jobs, but it's stuff I know how to do, and it's kinda like a comfort thing. We'll see how it goes, I'm getting better with the meeting thing.

Things here are much of the same tho, He and I are still struggling to get over our annoying congestion colds (seriously, his snoring is terrible. I have never heard him snore as much as he does now. And me? I'm sure I'm pretty terrible as well. And waking up in the morning choking on hardened snot? Ick. Ew. Gag. ). Our need to be plastered to each other is still quite strong. That will probably be bad for me later. And his desire to tickle me til I can't breathe is also grating a bit on my nerves. That he doesn't understand that it TOTALLY SUCKS, is also tough to get thru when you can't talk.

I'm getting desperate for money. I think I have a little more that 150 in the bank right now, and i have a loan payment coming up not to mention the credit card payment as well, now that I actually used it. My summer tree counting money would be really awesome is it came like 2 WEEKS ago. Alas, I'm not sure if I will get it until next week, or good grief, the week after that. Augh, bureaucracy.

A bum of the nth degree

Good. Freakin. Grief.
1 month in and NO JOB.
I never pictured myself without a job. EVER.
I'm one of those middle class people that just accept life is going to be work day after work day until you retire. I never once thought....hey, I could prolly just get away with living off "the system." I still don't think I could (I eat far too much, and have an expensive taste for good food) but I can see how people just get "hooked" on the support and don't bother with really trying to find one.

I admit. I'm not looking nearly hard enough.
This whole "putting yourself out there" is totally not me. And I hate every second of it. I hate calling people on the phone and I hate constantly e-mailing and I hate not having anything to do. I feel like my hate of boredom and laziness would push me to call more places and get going, but it's just making me want to hide more.
DAMN YOU HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENTS EVERYWHERE! I hate the games they play too. I wish there was like a snapshot of everything that you could do that was just automatically updated. Then it would be an easy thing to just open up and show an employer. I'm an awesomely hard worker. But....they can't see that.
And the line "Fantastically hard worker" doesn't work on a resume.

Bugger

I'm feelin pretty down and out.
Basically it's a vicious feedback loop (as my Envi. prof would say).
I have no job, therefore I feel lazy.
I feel lazy and that depresses me so I have no energy to care.
Not caring will not get me a job (go figure, right?).
So, yeah. It's boring.
Yesterday:
Cleaned the bedroom and did all his laundry (but not his Gi...I don't want to screw that up!). I also tried to wash his pillow case. When I went to put it back on it looked like there was new light-ish stains on it....until I realized that the "stains" were actually where the detergent had actually cleaned the pillowcase. The rest was still dirty......ewww....
Cleaned the front room of all his electronic stuff and the boxes from his new computer. SO MANY BOXES.
He still has a bunch of his stuff in little piles, but I don't care. I'm used to a bit of mess now. I think it's because it's a bigger place than just one room. Hm...doesn't really make sense...but that's okay.

Things I want: (now that I have no money...)
1. I want a nice pair of jeans. Ones that really fit and look nice with my shoes with heels.
2. A few new cd's. It's been awhile.
3. I want to make a lot of baked stuff. Like cookies and muffins and stuff.
4. A bigger bed, or wider sheets. One of us always ends up left out in the cold. Literally.
5. I want to dance. I want to move, and shake off this shitty feeling. *shakes and grooves*

New place

Well, here I am. It's been a week and I can hardly believe it.
It still feels like I'm on vacation, yet I can't relax.
Everytime there's downtime, I start thinking why we aren't doing anything, and what else we can do.
I'm still jobless. Another reason I always look for stuff to do I think. Don't want to be thought of as a bum. It's rough going. I don't know if I'm trying hard enough. I feel like I am, but apparently not. I'm going to have to call back two places. this week or next.
We're starting to look for places. We have an appt to see one tomorrow. I'm not too optimistic about it though. It's on a street we don't want to be on and it looks like it's part of a complex. Yuck. But that was the only success I had. I called 7 places, and that's the only appt. Makes sense I guess, just didn't realize how hard it would be.
I'm hanging out with my aunt again (for the 3rd time in a week) to try to go for a walk on the beach. My mom is talking about coming up for a visit already. ::sigh::
I'm gearin myself up for another week of job hunting and other necessities of attempting to live with my boyfriend and first time living on my own.
Learning to relax.
Learning to be agressive.
Learning to make decisions.
Learning how to grocery shop.
Learning how to communicate.
Learning how to take a joke.
Learning how to make a joke.
Learing to be responsible.
*waves* Hi everyone! I'm an adult!
If only I could convice myself that's what I am.

It doesn't seem real. In one week I will be packing up my car to got to Rochester.
Whoa man. Pretty weird. It will be weird spending more than 2 days with Colin alone. Haha, that by itself is the weird part. I'm just gunna have to do so much cleaning. I don't care, the first day I am going to clean every room. Except the front room cause I don't even want to touch anything in there. I will probably break something. I'll spend some time on the computer looking for new postings but in reality, it will all be about the cleaning.
Speaking of....I have no place to put my computer. Crap. I have no place to sit either. I hope I have some closet space too. Yep I do. He says he has plenty. I'm just going to bring everything that is on hangers on them. There is no way he has enough for all my crap. I also need to find a place to put my tshirts and everything. I cleaned out a few plastic tupperware type things. They will have to do. My car is TINY....er....tiny. I won't be able to fit any furniture in there. Plus I hate the dresser I have now. Goodness. I'm going to have to start packing! eek! I don't have a job!! ACK!!

Gah. I keep having doubts.
Yes. I said it. Doubts.
What if we totally hate being together?

Life is moving faster

Goodness.
I'm graduated.
That's pretty remarkable. School has started up again and I don't feel weird about missing it. I don't!
Not yet at least.
Moving up with the boyfriend. That's a bit daunting though. I'm wicked nervous about that. I love the boy, but I know how hard its going to be. I know this is a bit reckless, but I think I have to go for it. I have played it safe since I was born. Hardly got in trouble, never took risks. This is my big one. If I get burned, hey. That's what happens. I'm almost preparing for it but then I think....is that me not having faith in my boyfriend of 6 years??
I'm totally unprepared. yay.
My other best friend is leaving in the morning to start her life in the city. I have one friend in the country and one in the city, and me in the middle. That's how we go. She was so nervous, granted it is not unwarrented. It's NYC. That place is intense. I'm not worried at all. Smaller city yes....but it's a huge step.
Here's to the next leap. Cheers *drinks*

The plan for today

Seeing as this morning is a perfect Fall morning with a light steady rain and a cool breeze that is reminiscent of the impending season, this is my list fortoday so I am not distracted to do other sorts of things that i would rather do on this kind of day.
-Appointment at the dentist office at 910
-then come home and grab a drink and come up to your workspace
open the tree report and write more on the west side
open a powerpoint and get the layout of the presentation
make graphs of basal area and comparing the number of trees per mile in each side
Please refer to this when you get distracted. Because I know you will.
BEcause your alarm went off this morning at 7:30 and you were in bed til 8:20 just looking out the window and taking deep breaths of that cool air.
Get a move on babe, life awaits.

Open your eyes

Overwhelming feelings tend to make me delirious
so oblivious to the real, cruel, harsh, unkindness of life.
One day when I'm old I will realize this,
but now,
now all I can think about is the changing future.
The brand new day with brand new sights
the brand new routes to work, the brand new routine
all settling into a comfortable normal
interspersed with the occasional surprise
and unexpected randomness that life always does bring.
Honestly love, I can't wait to live that life with you.
I know I'm sounding naive and too hopeful
and I feel that way too.
How else can I be if I have yet to be around you more than a few short nights at a time.
Trust me love, it will be difficult
I will be difficult, you will be impossible.
I will make mistakes, you will forget.
I know all this, but I'm waiting to share it
with you.

Just some Babble

There are times when it really hits me hard
the bass shakes me from inside out
the beat begins and i have to find my breath
the rhythm of life seems so take me over
takes me for a ride while i sit and watch
the haunting melody forces me to close my eyes
enjoy the ride
like a drug induced high
with merely a recognition
that life is bigger than me.
my song continues building
in anticipation of the notes that complete the chords.

Once again...

Being productive in all areas but work.
Fantabulous.
Made dinner. Well, I made too much lunch....I thought the ratio for rice was 1c. rice for 2c. water. nope. other way around.
Started some laundry.
Went to the doctors. I get to have a nerve conduction study done. electrical zaps! fun!)
Apparently the ulna in my right wrist is a little longer than the other bone and that might be causing my "discomfort." I think she thinks I'm batshit crazy. All my symptoms are everywhere.
Bah.
OO, I'm making the double chocolate chip cookies again. They were awesome last time I made them.

The rain cooled it off a lot here. It's prolly only 85 here now! Crap. Which means I don't have an excuse for not counting trees. Dang.